Microsoft Releases "XP Extreme Power Drink," For Registered XP Owners
Microsoft today announced XP Extreme Power Drink for registered Windows XP owners. XP Extreme Power Drink fills a gap that's been overlooked by all other software companies indicated Microsoft officials. While other companies are obsessed with deploying new and innovative computing tools, they're missing one of the most important opportunities for maximizing the Windows XP experience, XP-hyper-stimulated™ caffeine induced computing.
Each can of XP Extreme Power Drink is BlueTooth enabled and gathers all physiological, cognitive, and PC system configurations of the user. From a wireless transmitter in the base of the can the information is then transmitted to Microsoft's new Neural-Net (BETA) for future analysis.
How to get XP Extreme Power Drink?
You can pick up your own supply of "XP Extreme Power Drink" by bringing your original XP install disks, no OEMs, to Microsoft's Redmond, Washington office for verification. (No phone calls acceped.)
Don't have your original XP install disks? Well, tough. Looks like you're going to miss out on the XP-hyper-stimulated™ Windows XP experience.
Additional XP Extreme Power Drink Requirements
In order to facilitate future purchases of XP Extreme Power Drink or other fine Microsoft products each user will have a small and tasteful Microsoft tattoo applied to their upper lip as proof of registration and verification.
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